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Love the One You're With...That Means YOU

Valentine season always stirs up more than a bunch of pretty flowers. Bunches and Bunches of feelings seem to be on board the “love boat” as it docks in our lives. We can’t help sailing over oceans of memories, through those times in our lives when romances were revving up or sputtering out. Who knows how many romances we’ve had, we’ve loved, or endured, or lost….but no matter what, it always seems to have seared an indelible memory in the lockbox of our lives, for forever.

Then, we land back on the runway of today——the love we currently have in our lives, particularly in our close relationships——amidst the flowers and the chocolates, we also can’t help taking stock. Truth be told, I think we would all love more love in our lives……

So, in the afterglow of the official day of love, making a special effort of loving overtures to our significant other/s, our family and friends…..what if we thought about all the ways we could bring more love into our lives, for our very own selves. Right now.

Since we ARE the only ones living with our US-NESS, 24/7, what if we could spend some time re-visiting and refocusing on the loves in our lives… all kinds of categories….that are part of every day?

How life-affirming and positive would that feel right now?

Sometimes I forget how much and how many things I truly love, and how they are right here, all around me, all the time. And, with almost no effort at all, I can fill my very own life with love, and not depend upon, or expect someone else, to provide it for me.

Surely, it’s no surprise that what we focus on increases. If we start our day, consciously focusing on loving the things we already have in our lives, our feelings of general well-being will rise exponentially. It’s a given.

A friend told me about a process she tries to employ every day. She calls it “THE FIRST FIFTEEN”.

It starts before she even gets out of bed. It’s about simply noticing and appreciating the things and feelings she already loves.

Come with me as we crawl into her brain for just a bit…..

WAKING UP…..and then some…

1. I love how warm and cozy I feel every morning when I wake up. I love my sheets and blankets. I love my mattress. And, my pillow. I love my pillow!

2. I love the fact that I can always count on clean water to wash my face and brush my teeth. WOW! I love the first cold splash in the face every day.

3. I love how this shower feels every morning. I love how the warm water feels running over my body. I love feeling so squeaky clean.I love these cushy towels to dry off with.

4. I love this new flavor of coffee. I love that I discovered it with a friend. I love the memory of being together that just smelling this coffee brings up.

5. I love smelling the coffee when I get out of the shower.

6. I love the fact that I have more than one outfit I love wearing, to choose from, again today.

7. I love my feeling of access to the world when I sit down at my computer....And. on it goes….for as long as the spirit moves her to acknowledge and be grateful for the many simple things supporting her life of “loves”.

You may look at this and think it seems silly, but I challenge you to try it. You don’t have to say it through a foghorn. The voice in your own head will do a very fine job, without a sound to another single soul about your FIRST FIFTEEN. This is just for you doing you. The process is about revving up the engines of love to jump-start your day in a powerfully, positive, purposeful way. Consider it a vitamin for your soul...


is a powerful spiritual antidote to the pervasive and insidious negativity we seem to be bombarded with on a daily basis.

The researchers that study this stuff agree: 1. MORE MOTIVATION: When we focus on noticing things or feelings that we love, it exponentially enhances our motivation.

2. IMPROVED HEALTH: Actively feeling feelings of love causes us to produce hormones that are directly linked to vibrant health, reducing stress and anxiety. Studies have shown that even a good laugh can relax your muscles for 45 minutes afterward. And it's much easier to laugh when we are already focused on loving what we have created in our lives.

3. GREATER PRODUCTIVITY: When we are looking forward to the things we love, we feel lighter. That lightness carries over into our ability to get things done with greater ease. When we are more relaxed, we can focus more fully.

4. GREATER PERSPECTIVE: Life is still going to sling that stinky brown stuff our way, no question. Using this FIRST FIFTEEN process is like creating a buffer for the way those things can take us “DOWN".

Creating a life to love. No one but US can really do that. Finding a simple and enjoyable process like the

FIRST FIFTEEN is a great way to feel love in a palpable way. It allows us to actively think love into being. It helps us create a new practice that could become as easy and automatic as brushing our teeth.

Years ago, there was a boutique hotel in Dallas that was the envy of some of the finest, most famous hotels in the world. It received rave reviews from guests and hoteliers around the globe. When the long-time manager was asked his secret…..he said, “It’s not one thing, it’s the 500,000 tiny things that I love into being, because the idea of someone LOVING their stay, here,

is my calling in life.”

What if OUR calling in life was to LOVE “our stay” in that same way?


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