Sometimes LIFE SUCKS…Yes, it sure does.
Sometimes our lives feel like we are in a tiny boat out to sea, overwhelmed with one tidal wave after another, crashing over us.
Sometimes, no matter WHAT we do, it seems like it was exactly the wrong thing.
Sometimes, our brand new puppy poops a steaming pile, right in the middle of the living room floor. But wait. Then, we discover our super-cool robot vacuum cleaner, whose timer we cleverly set to “clean the house” while we were gone…..has ever-so-efficiently spread that fresh, stinky brown stuff wall-to-wall. Welcome home.
Sometimes, we watch the people we love the most, become consumed by cancer, or another devastating illness…rendering us, and them, helpless to reverse the outcome.
Sometimes, the weird ka-blump we felt, backing out of the garage, turns out to be the neighbor’s beloved cat. Or, other times, when we’ve been in a frantic rush…we back out. This time the door was still down. BLAM!
Sometimes, the greatest loneliness we feel is in a room full of people.
Sometimes, we feel forced to work with, or for, someone we detest. We dread the day ahead. Our dreamed-about career has become a nightmare.
Sometimes, the father we loved, loved us back in ways that were all kinds of wrong.
Sometimes, we can’t believe we ate the whole thing.
Sometimes, we’re even too afraid to ask, “What ELSE can happen?” for fear it will.
I could go on. These are just a few of the realities that have either punctured holes in my own life or the lives of my loved ones.
No doubt you have your own list.
WHAT TO DO?
+ So how does anyone find their way to being positive on purpose about this stuff?
+ How do we create a belief system that’s committed to faith over fury….because ultimately, that IS the choice.
+ Either we believe everything happens for a reason that will reveal itself over time, OR life is just one long shit-show designed to dump right on our heads whenever possible.
CHOOSE POSITIVITY as a BELIEF SYSTEM which becomes A WAY OF LIFE
DECIDING TO EMBRACE POSITIVITY as a way of life is not for sissies.
It’s not some woo-woo, la-la, bury-your-head-in-the-sand, pretend-and-make- nicey-nice attitude. It is a daily commitment to courage and personal power. It comes right out of owning the unvarnished truth. All of it. It’s about looking life right in the eye….and declaring….
THE POSITIVE ON PURPOSE PLEDGE
” I believe MY LIFE and everything, everyone, and every experience happens for a purpose. I commit to understanding that purpose. I commit to being grateful for the lessons I will learn. I choose to become better rather than bitter, no matter what. Being Positive On Purpose is my guiding belief and way of life.” Period.
THE 4 Things You Need to Know
CREATING THE POSITIVE ON PURPOSE LIFE
1. After your trip to SUCKVILLE…HAVE YOURSELF A REALLY GOOD WALLOW.
Turns out, feeling all the feelings of confusion, betrayal, hurt and rage are a vital part of being POSITIVE ON PURPOSE. Replay the ain’t-it-awfuls as much as you need to, until it's worked its way out of your system.
Ever had a great reason for the big, ugly cry? Get with it. Go for it. When we allow ourselves to express the pain, we also know when we are done, don’t we? Until then…Blow it out. Release it. THEN, commit to moving forward.
WARNING: Those of you who think “sucking it up” is in some way being rational, adult, heroic, or stoic…well it’s not. Putting a lid on the hurt only keeps it there. The pot never stops simmering just below the surface. Telling ourselves to “suck it up” does exactly that….we are keeping it all in. All that hurt, one stacked on another, over a lifetime, doesn’t leave us any room for joy or creativity or growth. It robs us of our full potential. We all deserve an un-bridled future of being wide open for all our dreams and possibilities to manifest themselves.
2. THE OPERATIVE WORD IS…….
Each item on the previous list started with “SOMETIMES”. It’s the operative word. Other people and circumstances, even our own dumb mistakes and worst accidents are temporary. They are incidents, chapters, and phases we are moving through. Blips on the big screen. Did you know, if you live to be 70, you will have seen 25,550 days….613,200 hours….36,792,000 minutes?
3. HONOR WHAT’S CONSTANT.
The only ALL-THE-TIME constant in OUR lives is US, along with our attitudes about how to process ALL the things that have or will ever happen. We will not always have control over the challenges swirling around us, but we always have a choice in how we react.
If we choose to strengthen our resilience by learning the lessons offered in every situation, if we open our hearts and minds to the bigger picture, it will absolutely propel our personal growth and authentic self-confidence.
Making that choice is a very tall order. It requires relentless patience and courage.
So, honor YOU. Honor how far you’ve come. What you are learning in this moment. Honor your journey. The one that was. And the one unfolding before you. Your life is precious. And special. And all yours.
4. FUEL YOUR FUTURE.
Being POSITIVE ON PURPOSE also means being committed to finding a way to process the anger and grief. Anger and grief are some of life’s most powerful propellors. They will fuel the future if processed in a positive way. Finding a way to truly process the shit show allows us to leave the hurt behind eventually. Dealing with it, I mean really dealing with these rotten times, increases our capacity for resilience, creativity, compassion and humor. It bolsters our self-reliance and kindness and empathy.
Our emotions are meant as signals, signposts guiding us to grow. To look for the lessons to be learned. The wisdom and discernment to be gained. They are the building blocks for self-awareness and real, connected-in-the-heart relationships. Used as tools, they provide the energy needed to think and act within our own values. Our emotions are like inner fog horns, guiding us home in the dark. They happen for our growth when we see them as positive signals guiding our purpose. They open doors to discernment and being wide open to all the possibilities our future may hold. The worst of times may lead us to the best we could have ever imagined.
Ask any gardener. The worst, stinkiest compost grows the most magnificent gardens. They swoon when discussing the disgusting ingredients they are tossing around in their precious steaming piles. I’ve used this metaphor for years, to get me through my own times of stupidity and tragedy. When I am up to my eyeballs in my own stinking piles……I remind myself…..
"Grow your own garden, sister.”
Whatever you need to do or say to yourself in order to move forward, find a catch-phrase that will give you that swift kick. If you are truly committed to moving forward, an idea, unique to you, that works, will come to you. I promise. Believe your inner knowing knows best.
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