So many events of these past few years have been unimaginable. It can be so easy to just throw in the towel on any positive planning for our future when PLAN A rarely seems to materialize.
As we entered the “PRIME+” time in our lives, my husband and I decided we wanted to turn a deaf ear to the wild, seemingly off-kilter world “out there” and create OUR life to reflect a positive and purposeful expression of what we held dear….now.
It’s our second fall, at home in Highlands NC. after moving from a lifetime of careers, family, friends and familiarity in Dallas, TX.
It was a 2.5 year process, to get here. First we had to decide we were really ready for a major change. Major. Even then, we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. The process is a story, all by itself, one full of “OMG’s…What were we thinking?” and plenty of tears, both the jump-for-joy happy ones and the big, ugly cries.
We continue to be AMAZED with life in this NC mountain rainforest where every day brings nature’s glory to our doorstep.
My husband and I have always been card-carrying members of The American Dream Club. Membership in "The Club" meant accumulating more & better while climbing the ladder. Now, we found ourselves all these years later, realizing that "all that stuff" we'd strived for had become more than we bargained for...more to maintain and manage...more "stuff" to feel obligated to care for and keep up with. More taxes to pay. Then, there were the people “needed” to help us keep up with all our stuff.
So, we were managing them too.
We decided it was time to create a new dream. One that was a better fit with our current chapter. One that was filled with positivity and promise and sustainable simplicity.
We each made our own separate lists of the things we wanted to feel, see, and do in our future. Then, we compared notes. Just making those lists and discovering we held most of the same hopes and desires was a powerful catalyst to move forward.
One item topped each of our lists…..to live in a naturally beautiful place, with four distinct seasons. Check. Another item included not being slaves to our possessions. Check. Another was to live in a smaller community at a more relaxed pace. Check. Another mutual dream included selling ALL that square footage we had accumulated in those zippy zip codes. Check.
These major changes also meant shedding the need for “marquee value” in the world. It meant no longer depending on our stellar resumes to gain approval or make “strategic” friendships. We wanted a life without the underlying”get-ahead” agendas. It also meant re-assessing, re-aligning, and re-committing to our personal values...taking a dive into the deep end of our faith and our essential beliefs. Check. It meant letting go of the behaviors and fixed false beliefs making us stale, set in our ways, and borderline bitter about the world. We wanted to become consciously committed to choosing “better” over bitter. Check.
Our lists, went from thoughts, rolling around in our heads, to ink, on paper…making our dreams feel real. Our dreams became decisions. Those decisions became determination. Then work. A lot of work. A lot of upheavals. Truth be told, we realized what we had been calling “comfort” all these years had really become sludge.“The Great Shedding”, had begun. It felt like wind-in-our-faces freedom.
Moving to a brand new place, 1,000 miles away from “home” certainly had its daunting moments. Renovating a house, back to the studs, added another long, arduous layer. The bright green construction Porta-Potty sat in our driveway for over a year.
The struggles, as profoundly difficult as they could be at times, forged a new bond. We even became a better WE in the process. After so many years of “doing our thing”, more often than not…separately. We were IN this. Together. Check.
Clear ….about our goals to live our new life in one small, comfy house.
A home we could take care of all by ourselves. Just us. Check. Creating a home we loved so much, that we weren’t always looking for ways to escape….Dallas had become that kind of place…we always wanted to find a way to leave….the traffic or the people or the heat, or the sirens, or the social pressure or one another.
Check. Check. and Check.
So….Here we are. We did it. We are still doing it. There’s so much more to learn. More to process. More growth opportunities in every way. Every day.
Finally, here’s the thing about change. When change is right and it's been crafted from your deepest desires, it is the kind of positive-on-purpose change that will sustain and excite you. It will renew your hope and determination to believe that every. single. day. is worth living to the fullest, even in those set-back, hard-as-Hell times which are sure to happen. Still, you will know that in the big scheme of things, you are on a trajectory of your own choosing. Life is happening for you and not just to you.
THE BOTTOM LINE
If this chaotic time in the world has taught us anything POSITIVE, it’s that we need to be urgent about the quality of our very own lives.
I wanted to share our story, dear hearts, because I can attest to the life that a big change of your choosing will give to your life …to re-evaluate what’s most vital to you now. And if you aren’t where you want to be, find your positive path that only you feel is right for you. That’s what being a member of this PositiveOnPurpose community is all about…sharing and encouraging one another to find your way without feeling alone.
If you have a dream. believe in its power to make you more creative, resilient, self-confident, and authentic. Asking for help to make it happen will broaden your horizons with new information and people, with amazing heart and talent, to enrich your life.
Make your list. Look your life right in the eye. Tell yourself the unvarnished truth. What lifelong dreams are still sitting on the shelf?
Believe it matters. Because your life matters. Believe the quality of your precious life matters. Don’t. Wait.